My Crazy Thoughts
my thoughts on various topics.

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

So, I took the PCAT this weekend. I think I did okay. I didn't get to finish the math section, but I don't think anyone did finish it. And it's been so long since I took chemistry that I was a little rusty at it, there was a lot I didn't know or wasn't sure of, and I didn't get to finish it either. I think I did pretty good on the other three sections, so hopefully they will pull up my average.
I finished all my applications. Of cource CFCC is slow and I don't think my transcripts will make it to pharmcas in time for the deadline. Hopefully my transcripts from them will get to famu in time. If not I still have UF and PBA. Anyway, all that is left now if prayer. So I will just pray that I get in.
Took an anatomy test today. I think I did well. I was worried because I just couldn't make myself study for it. But I went in EARLY today and studied from 3-6 straight. In the end I think I did better than I originally thought I would do.
I think I'm going to have trouble with Econ. But I'm not really sure why. I'm just not absorbing it like I normally do. The other day in class we did an in class activity and I did really well on it. Then right after that we took a quiz and I couldn't remember anything. I never blank out like that, it's like it just fell right out of my head. So I'm going to have to spend some time on that.

You know that movie that is coming out "Monster?" Well the woman that movie is about used to live here--well in Chaz actually. She was arrested in Daytona (I think) by Citrus county detectives. My aunt knew her--well knew who she was. They hung out at the same bars. According to her everyone knew who she was because she was so obviously a lesbian and well, no one in those bars is a lesbian, so apparently everyone remembers her.
Anyway, I guess this thing went down while I wasn't really paying attention because only rings a vague bell for me, but I can't wait to see the movie and see if I recognize anything in it. There was a body found on 19, so maybe I'll recognize something about it.
Yeah, that's all for now.

Saturday, January 17, 2004

Too much stress! And it's really my own fault.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

If I owned a bar I would name it Midhgardhr. It's Old

Norse for Midgard, "The middle space or region between heaven and hell, the abode of human beings; the earth." Don't steal my idea.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Mindless blather
So does anyone know who Gideon Yago is? He's one of the news anchors on MTV news. It's probably not considered the most reputable source of news in the world, but they do actually report on news other than the latest Brittany drama. Anyway, I'm watching TV right now. MTV to be exact. Diary of Gideon in Iraq. Not only was Mr. Yago there in New York for 9/11--though I'm sure that is not where he wanted to be, he has also gone to Iraq. He interviewed some soldiers and some Iraqi youth. If you ask me, if he's looking for a future career as a international news reporter he is well on his way.
In any case, if you haven't seen this episode you should really try to catch it.
Some of the soldiers he interviewed expressed that they didn't even think there were enough troops there to get the job they are there to do done. One even wondered how many others would die before our policies would change. It's one thing for those of us at home to feel this, we have nothing better to do than see the flaws in the system, but it makes me very mad that they can see if. Not only are the forced to be there, away from their families and friends, and facing constant attacks on their lives. They also can see that there are not enough people there to get their jobs done. This means it's not just in the big picture that there are shortages, like if there were only more troops in a certain area we could overthrow some of the resistance. There is also a shortage at every outpost, there aren't enough people there to cover their asses if they get hit right now.
It means that with every death they have to think about how they could be next. It's not getting any better, people are still dying every day.

It also let me see the strength of those living in Iraq. Those people who have no choice where they live, this is where they were born, they had to live with the violence of the regime, and now they have to live with the hopelessness they feel for their country. It was sad to hear time and time again from them that when the American's came they were happy, but they were disappointed by the American's lack of action. They were disappointed because the only thing they saw the American's protecting was the oil. They didn't protect the civilians against the looters. They just sat there. And because they were on the other side of the spectrum it is hard for them to understand that the soldiers were only following orders. The show told of Iraqi youth who were sure that the American's were no longer there to install a democratic government, they have lost hope that that will happen.
They live with machine gun fire just a hundred yards away, or even closer. They "get used to it." I could never be strong enough to thrive in these surroundings let alone simply live. These young people go about their lives surprisingly similarly to me. They still hang out with friends and listen to music. Popular music: Avril and Eminem. And they do it all in a way that I know I never could. Before this war started, I was very anti-war, and still am. I had many arguments for this. One of the more selfish reasons was that I knew I wouldn't deal well with war. I knew that the constant worry for those I love and those I don't even know would eat at me until I wasn't the same as I was before. I still feel this way. And I know that I am different now than I was before. But seeing that show I remembered that I'm still a hell of a lot better off than they are over there.
So far the person I am now isn't any worse off than the person I was before, but I know that if I had to live in Iraq as those Iraqi youths do that I would be a whole lot worse off. And the difference I'm talking about has nothing to do with Socio-economic status, or educational opportunities.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004

Reason I'm glad I'm not a guy #32:
Because if I was a guy and lucky enough to find the right girl and we decided to have kids I would be so worried throughout the entire pregnancy.
Examples:
*Should I let her fill up the car with gas? Maybe the fumes aren't good for the baby.
*Should I let her drive a car? If she's in an accident the steering wheel could hurt the baby.
*Should she eat that? It might not be good for the baby.
*Should I let her walk? The excess mass might cause her to lose her balance and fall--which could hurt the baby.

But since I'm a girl I won't have those crazy worries I will have other ones, more rational ones. I'm a worrier so it goes without saying that I will find things to worry about, I'm just glad I can mark a few of them off the list.

Monday, January 12, 2004

WOO HOO!
I took this IQ test by Emode and from the looks of my results I'm pretty damn intelligent.


Congratulations, Malissa!

Your IQ score is 133



This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.


Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace.



Just in case you were wondering.

Sunday, January 11, 2004

So...I talked to Jenn today. She met this guy. She told me she was "kinda dating him." But...he has a girlfriend, has had one for the past 2 and a half years. So I said, "well then you aren't dating him." More like cheating with him or something. I tried reasoning. You know, if she doesn't mind sharing...and the other girl is okay with it. From what she said I don't think the other girl is okay with it. Then I tried the what if you were her scenario--that didn't work either. I didn't get to talk to her for more than 5 minutes then she had to go. I talked to her again later, but only for a couple minutes again. By that time she decided she just didn't care right now because she really liked him and so she was going to keep seeing him. Her sister called her a Hussy. We'll see what happens but it makes me mad that she always picks the crappiest guys. She completely devalues herself, as if she thinks she won't be able to find a better guy right around the corner. She ignores the ones who are actually single, and have half a brain for the ones who are taken or stupid, mostly I think, because she thinks they're cute--which I never agree with. The guy she brought here over Christmas was nice, but he was really too young.

How do you tell one of your closest friends that she has bad judgment when it comes to guys? He called his girlfriend and told her about Jenn, and she supposedly asked a lot of questions and then he told her he would understand if she wanted to break up with him. She started to cry and that ended the conversation. It is NOT okay that he is seeing someone else. AND giving his girlfriend the option of not dating him anymore is not acceptable. What he should have done was call up his girlfriend before anything happened with Jenn and break things off. At the very least called her after things had happened and break it off. It is not enough for him to say, "I understand if you don't want to see me anymore." That is the easy way out, then he has a chance of getting a twofer--He keeps his girlfriend and he gets Jenn.

Geez...She's in the Navy you would think there would be enough guys there that she could find ONE single, unattached man who is a relatively decent guy.

Saturday, January 10, 2004

I talked to Lori today, I called to see how her first week of school went. She's a brand new 7th grade english teacher. She loves it. It makes me feel old and unproductive and useless to know she is settling into a career and I wasn't even able to get into pharmacy school. She's done and I've barely begun.

This evening my cousin called and invited my mom and I to dinner with her and her brother and mother. We're going to the Lodge in Chaz. Something about steak and an Elvis impersonator. You know how whenever you see a natural disaster on the news there is alway some hick guy with his teeth falling out of his head talking about how he "sawed ever'thin,'" I have a feeling we'll see a couple of them. Probably even hear some war stories. I don't mind so much--character--you know? My mom said my cousin has strep throat and is on antibiotics so he can't drink. That's okay--I can't eat Steak.

Thursday, January 08, 2004

CFCC is rotting my brain. Yesterday I had a heated debate with my mom. I asked, "If we win the lottery, can I open a strip club?" My mom responded with a resounding NO! I still believe in my explanations and justifications but I think she was probably right when she said I was just looking for ways to buck the system. I paid my tuition with a credit card. Online, so I wouldn't have to stand in line forever to do it. Not a big deal. Except I got this error message. It said, "This transaction has been approved." What kind of error is that? Isn't that what is supposed to happen? Anyway, there was an error, I called about it, the payment is not on my record yet, but they do have record of the error and are working on it. Slowly. If I get dropped from my classes I'm going to SUE! I walked into my economics class today, it didn't take me long to figure out it was also a dual enrollment class. That's right boys and girls, now I have to take a class with a bunch of high school kids. It wouldn't be so bad but it was so OBVIOUS they were in high school, I didn't even have to hear the professor talk about how they should talk to someone about getting the study guide supplied for them, I knew before the professor even got there. Then we had to find someone from another state and find out their hobby. There are about 4 people in the class who aren't dual enrollment. And one girl in the front of the class didn't have anyone around her so I moved up and introduced myself. All the dual enrollment people knew each other because they have been practically living together for the past 4 years. Anyway we talked for a while, answered the questions, and talked about the professor, classes, etc... So it gets to be her turn. I had to tell her my name again and where I was from. Hello? We didn't talk about that much! I can still tell you about her. LeeAnn, from Florida enjoys reading. But she couldn't remember my name or where I was from--I had to whisper it to her. When it came to my hobby she was like, "and uhhhh...she likes photo...graphing... yeah." So I guess it's not just my brain that is rotting at that fabulous institution of higher learning.

In other news: I've decided that I'm actually going to have new years resolutions. Normally I don't--several years ago I resolved to not have any resolutions--that lasted for a while, but I broke down this year. So my resolutions are to stop eating pork and beef. Except on vacation, holidays, or if it's already in the fridge. I decided on the pork because it's in the Bible, though I will continue the abominable act of eating things from the sea that don't have fins and scales, namely shrimp, crab, etc... I just like them too much. And the beef because of mad cow--and that whole health thing about not eating so much red meat. I made the exceptions because I don't think I would handle a vacation where I couldn't eat sausage gravy, or a burger, and I wouldn't want to waste what's in the fridge. We'll see how long that lasts. I really like sausage gravy and roast beef sandwiches.

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